why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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