I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize