dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Randomize