literally had 100 drinks last night.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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