Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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