mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
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