They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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