After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
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come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
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So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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