2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize