just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize