I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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