I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
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