The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
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