You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize