Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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