Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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