Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize