i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize