Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
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Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
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There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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