Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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