guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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