I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize