Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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