Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize