youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I need moral support for this bender
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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