You're completely useless in the revolution.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize