the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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