I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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