Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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