there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize