Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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