Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
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I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
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When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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