God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I'm really busy with my period
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