matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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