dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I believe in your delicious
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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