if you like me you must not know who I am
My first STD was from a foam party
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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