All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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