Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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