What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize