Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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