When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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