Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Someone signed my nipple.
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