i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize