its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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