Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize