its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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