she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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