i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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