what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
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