Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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