I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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