i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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