I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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